Friday, January 6, 2012

well now I'm not sure anymore. is this a trick or can I actually pass you?

Bicycling with children is a horse I continue to get back on despite the anxiety and occasional falls.

Time for Q&A.

Q:  Is it because you had too many kids and are hoping for fewer?
A:  Fuck you.  No.  My kids are wonderful and I adore them.

Q:  Is it because you are too dumb to have noticed that the roads are dotted with giant metal machines driven by people who may be doing their nails and texting their ex while making an appointment with their therapist after drinking a vodka tonic?
A:  I am not too dumb.  I've noticed.  Are you Amish or have you noticed that their Tahoe XL can take down your Lexus ES300?  Yeah so.  Get on the same hope machine as the rest of us bicyclists.  At least we don't have to share a lane (usually) with those dangerous nincompoops.

So, why bicycle with your kids?

1.  It's fun.
2.  It's good exercise.  Exercise is good for the mind and body.  Just because kids don't have rent to pay doesn't mean that they do not have stress of their own.  Bicycling is calming.
3.  No more parking hassles.
4.  No fights about who sits next to the dog.
5.  I want them to learn some good bicycling habits because it may protect them later on when they are bicycling with friends.
6.  Other stuff I'm probably forgetting.

So on this, the last day of winter vacation Rapunzel, Sparkle Pony and I bicycled out to meet the Contraption Captain.  We had a pleasant dinner and then turned towards home.  Nothing bad or scary happened.  Yay.  I don't think Sparkle Pony saw me flip off the person who wouldn't let us cross from the bike lane on the right of the road to the bike lane in the middle forgoing straight.

We're trundling along and this car shoots past us on the left going too fast to a red light.  Whatever.  They put their turn signal on.  We're going straight.  Because we value our brain cells we do not attempt to pass on the right.  But the car's wheels are turning very s l o w l y.  The wheels say ........ bicycles ..... something .... about .......bicycles.

Instead of making that right hand turn the car stops.  It shivers gently in it's lane as we approach it with the caution of gazelles being offered creamsicles by a skinny cheetah.  The car makes no move to turn.  Contraption Captain slinks by on the right.  Then Sparkle Pony.  Car #2 (Texas plates, please learn manners or go home btw) pulls up behind Car #1 and leans on his horn.

Car #1:  Bicycles!  Possibly little kids on bicycles!
Car #2:  HOOOONK!  Wtf is your problem Car #1!  Pull up your big car pants and turn!!
Car #2:  ....bicycles?
Bicycles:  Should we go?  Or will Car #1 abruptly change it's mind and smash us into the pavement?


Car #1 holds it's ground.  Sparkle Pony and I hurry past.  In part because I know that Car #2 will see this and seethe...I wave a cheerful "thank-you!" to Car #1.

Car #2 was held up maybe fifteen seconds, most of which they spent honking their horn.

ps. JRA: I love my new badge!!!  Thank-you!  I've actually biked with one of those one-wheelies (memorably doing 30 mph with little Rapunzel at age 4 riding behind.  Mine was kindof tippy at slow speeds.

pps.  cycler:  Yes.  Exactly.

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