Dear bicyclists who are riding along carrying your bike helmet slung over your handlebar.
What the fuck is your plan? When the car heads towards you to have an accident you're going to put the helmet on your head and close the clasp and then collide with that SUV? Really?
What the fuck? Did Mom tell you to wear your helmet so you brought it along and took it off the moment you were out of her sight?
Well here's a newsflash you goddamned Einstein. Your Mom (we talk all the time) doesn't want to spend the rest of her life spooning baby food into your drooling mouth. She made that scene once with you thanks very much and once was fucking enough.
So. Either grow some and say "No, Mom. I won't wear a helmet. It makes me look dumb and I'm scared I won't get laid." Or just suck it up and wear the fucking helmet.
Thanks.
-Mom
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