Tuesday, April 23, 2013

fun things you can do with stuff you probably have lying around your bicycle route

Party fun game the number one:

Equipment needed to play this game:

you.
a bicycle, preferably not a stolen one.
a stretch of bicycle route with a bike lane, straight works best, the kind that runs on the side of the road not down the middle.
a rear view mirror mounted to your helmet or bicycle

Begin the game by pedaling in the bicycle lane on the side furthest away from the cars.   Get comfortable watching the cars coming up behind you and hopefully passing you and not running over you.  The majority of them should be driving in the car lane, with no tire rubber in the bicycle lane.  If the majority of the cars are in the bicycle lane abort game and save yourself.

You notice a car driving close to the bicycle lane.  Watch attentively.   Move over so you are bicycling on the side closest to the cars.  If the car corrects away from you, move back to the curb side.  Otherwise start bicycling on the white line and then abruptly correct back hard to the curb side.  Watch to see if the car moves away from you.  If you play this game carefully you can move the cars around the road at your leisure.

Variation on this game:  Stay perfectly and entirely in the bicycle lane but ride as if you were being chased by a swarm of hornets, weaving back and forth and madly swatting at yourself.  Watch in rear view mirror to see how far away from you the cars will move to avoid coming down with whatever contagion you contracted.

Party fun game the number two:

Equipment needed to play this game:

you.

a bicycle, preferably not a stolen one.
a narrow quiet residential road lined with houses and parked cars on both sides.  road must be dotted with 4-way stops at each block for this game to be fun.
there should be no bicycle lane

This game is very easy, you have probably played it already if your route has a quiet residential street with many parked cars and travelling cars going in both directions.  Start by pedaling far enough away from the parked cars so that if one of them unexpectedly flings the door open you will not be killed.  Are you there?  Good.  You're probably about 25% of the way into the car lane.  Any car passing you is going to have to cross the center lane.  Bring up the speed until you are hauling along at a respectable 17mph or more.  Wait for a car.  Car will approach and want to pass you despite the fast approaching stop sign.  Car will step hard on the gas (for a residential neighborhood) and launch itself into the oncoming traffic lane to go around you.  Take your bicycling speed up a notch if you have it.  Now both of you come to the 4-way stop.  You will be there in the lane.  The car will be in the lane for opposing traffic.  Cars travelling in the opposite direction will honk in a frustrated way.   Smile benignly and come to a complete stop.  Un-clip if you ride with clips.  Then continue through the intersection with the confidence of the righteous.  

6 comments:

  1. I have played that game for years and yes, it works (here in Manchester, UK). Even in the busy city centre. Just like today when I let a fire engine go first through the narrow city centre street at one set of lights and then kept him at bay for the next three. Weave around like you mean it. And you just might get home alive and unchafed. And no, the fire truck was not out on an emergency call.

    Try adding an Airzound air horn to (go with the camera) on your handlebars. It can scream louder than any human. I've had cars overtaking into oncoming traffic get beaten back by giving it a quick blast. Well a long blast but it still worked.

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    1. I am pretty interested in an air horn but I wonder if I have the reflexes or coordination. I scream quickly when I'm scared but actually punching a button, could I handle that? Would I fall off?

      Glad to hear that I am not the only one enjoying this kind of survival-based game.

      Best wishes to you for lots of great rides and few hassles.

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    2. Pressing the button to activate the air horn becomes pretty instinctive once you know it's there. It also becomes addictive so be aware that at every opportunity you will use it with great effect so you can get home safely with the knowledge that you educated another a hole car driver will be sitting at home thinking "oh my god, that chafe city girl really scared me while I was driving into oncoming traffic!"

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    3. I like the bit where they at least briefly respond to you as a car. It would have actually been perfect to heading off my last temper tantrum.

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  2. My favourite is that old game of when you approach a pinch point, and can hear a car coming up behind you, and you have to guess how close they will get before they notice that they won't fit through and have to brake. The record, yesterday, was slightly more than one bike length - he had to come to a complete stop behind me as I kept going, and then I just waved him past me, all friendly, like, once I was through the pinch point. The pinch point in question, incidentally, is a pedestrian refuge on a long straight section of road which only has a footpath on one side, on which I have never in my life actually seen a pedestrian.

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    1. those moments are scary but oddly empowering ;-)
      the Contraption Captain calls them "chicanes" which is very very close to chicanery. I think it's oddly touching that bicycle commuters are playing the same games all over the world at the same time.

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