I'm on the last lap to work this morning which means I am heading down a steep hill towards a traffic light intersection where I need to take a right. I start signaling that I need to get over into the right lane and I start looking to both sides. On my left may be cars who want to cross the bike lane and turn right. On the right may be cars driving fast and planning on taking a right and there may also be cars crossing the bike lane so that they can go straight.
It's not the safest piece of my ride.
I'm very very careful.
So I'm signaling that I want to go right and I am clear on my left and on my right a car is approaching. They seem to be yielding. I wait another moment. Now I am sure they are yielding. I pull in front of them, still pedaling hard, and do the move I learned after arriving in California, I wave. I wave to say "thank-you for allowing me into your lane and allowing me to live another day."
The driver of the maroon Prius with an easily recalled vanity plate steps on the gas and revs the engine of his car and then hurtles up the bike lane passing me on the left and then pulling in front of me and making his right hand turn on two wheels.
Yeah well fuck you too.
I got a good look at him as he went by and I learned a lot in those few moments as I realized that I would survive this encounter.
1. Guy had a dog but it ran away.
2. Guy is so fat it's an effort for him to fit behind the steering wheel.
3. Guy is physically offensive to potential partners of both genders.
4. Guy lists "software engineer" as his position when he files with the IRS but has yet to master Qbasic.
A final note.
It's never wise to poop in your own backyard, you fascist pig. I work around the corner from you. If I encounter you again on the road (or the sidewalk) I'll remember you and I may remind you of the morning you behaved like a total asshole for no reason other than your own personal and very obvious short-comings.