Thursday, May 19, 2011

I worry about you. And you. And you.

People are always very interested in my varied child-bike transport systems.  One thing they ask about is the Burley bike wagon that I still use to transport my youngest to school when she does not feel like riding her own bicycle.  

What people ask:

1.  Has it ever tipped over with your child in it?
2.  Do you worry about running into $some_obstacle with the wagon while your kid is in it?
3.  Do you worry that the wagon will break free of the bicycle and roll into traffic and your child will be maimed or worse?

The answer to all three of the above questions is "No.  I do not worry about these things."

The person with all the questions looks surprised.  Their sad concerned little faces seem to say, "You don't worry?  Not even a little?"  

So I offer additional information because I am helpful that way. "The only thing I worry about is being hit by a car."

At this point the people look a little blank.  My theory is that cars are so ubiquitous that it's like saying "I worry that gravity will make me fall down."  

Let's get one thing straight here, gravity is a given and automobiles are not.  

If I were to tumble my wagon my kid might get a bruise or a scrape.  I guess if she were really unlucky she'd injure a tooth or experience a fracture.  Traumatic head injury seems unlikely as she wears a helmet and the wagon has a roll bar.

If a car tumbles my bike wagon...I think it's probably all over.  So yes I worry when I ride my bicycle, and it is the same worry whether my kids are along or not.  No I take that back.  I always worry and I haemorrhage ph33r when my kids are along.  I worry about exactly one thing:  being hit by a car.  It is the only worry that matters.

Anyways.  Now onto something more fun.  The next time you are on your way to collect your kid via bicycle coupled to bicycle wagon, try one of the following keeping in mind that pedestrians and cars can't see that your wagon is not occupied:

1.  Hit a curb with one wheel such that the wagon flips onto it's side.  Continue biking like this, dragging the wagon behind, for about half a block before leaning back to casually right the thing and continue on.

2.  Mount the bike wagon onto the back of a recumbent bicycle.  This will tilt the entire thing such that if you were carrying a real kid he/she would probably get a nose bleed.

3.  Say loudly "I have had ENOUGH" and cut the wagon loose and leave it by the side of the road.  

No comments:

Post a Comment