Christmas Eve I like to bicycle downtown and do my last minute shopping. I don't generally find much of anything and this year I overdid it on candy but I enjoy the bicycle ride and the walking around and if I am totally honest with myself I enjoy snickering at the frantic SUVs as they stutter up and down the road looking for a place to set their sorry nine foot wide rumps down for a spell.
This year Contraption Captain and Rapunzel bicycled with me and I took along our cheap but serviceable cargo wagon. The air cleared my head. I pedaled. I was happy in the reliable way bicycle makes me happy, barring the times when some car makes me scream like a little girl but life isn't all roses for anyone, yes? Once downtown we were locking up when I saw a person on a bicycle behaving like a real dick. I wish I wasn't someone who noticed stuff like this but I am a noticer and what I see doesn't always fill me with good cheer.
The guy rode down the crowded sidewalk and then into the crosswalk where he literally scattered pedestrians who stared after him, mostly hurt and confused but one a little angry. And then he quickly looped back for another pass, re-scattering the pedestrians who had just started to regroup. We stared after him unhappily. I thought he looked a little mentally ill.
What I would like to ask of those pedestrians is to go home and say to their dog or their cat or their postal service person: "Wow, I nearly got creamed by this total asshole downtown. What a prick." What I would like the pedestrian not to say would be: "Bicyclists are such asshats" because...please. This was a rude jerk who happened to be riding a bicycle. Yes there are creeps out there and sometimes they ride bicycles but the bicycle does not create the creep. On the bright side, this particular dick was on a wasted old department store bicycle and not a Jeep Rambler which is why you still have a mouth to complain with.
With this minor glitch behind us we shopped, upgraded the home liquor cabinet, and after a bit retrieved our bicycles and happily pointed them towards home. As we pedaled along, I noticed an interesting bicycle cargo wagon on the other side of the road. Guess what it was! No really, guess! Did you guess that it was a UPS guy making deliveries with A BICYCLE? Did you? Because that is what we saw! I said to Contraption Captain "omg! omg! take a picture!" Unfortunately UPS guy was already pedaling away (omg pedaling!) and as an ex-New Englander I value people's privacy enough not to chase them down and snap a pic when they are working on Christmas Eve. But. Guess what.
I think 2013 is going to be a great year.
Love and Bicycles,