Friday, March 25, 2011

stamp out dumb advice in 2011

This is a general call for ending the practice of giving dumb advice to bicyclists.  How can you tell if your advice is dumb?  Your advice is dumb if the person on the bicycle already knows about it.  When you tell someone something they already know you aren't being helpful, you are being boring at best and passive-aggressive at worst.  If you're upset about something, don't be a pansy and pretend to give advice when what you actually want to be saying is "fuck you!" just get out there and say "fuck you!" ... and then deal with the consequences. 

Examples of dumb advice: 
you do not have a light on your bicycle
the battery for your light is low
you do not have fenders
your back tire is wobbly
you shouldn't run stop signs
that light was red when you went through it

Examples of helpful advice:
your wallet just fell out of your pocket
I think the kid in the kid-seat by the side of the road a few blocks back is yours
I've called an ambulance, don't move.

I trust I've cleared this up for everyone.  You are welcome.

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