Friday, March 25, 2011

that guy who never gets any sex

I was pedaling home and I was way too dry.  Where was the rain?  Who knows.  Might be back tomorrow.  Might not.  It's Friday and I'm on a bicycle and life is Promising.  Ahead I saw that the light for crossing Charleston was green and I worked hard to get there although my chances were slim.  The light turned red and I landed in the middle lane behind a station wagon.

Why not get in the lane on the far right?

Because part way up the next block that lane becomes a right turn only lane and so I stay towards the middle.  A good thing about commuting is that you get to know your route really well, with practice you can always be in the right spot.  This is true for cars and bikes.  It is one of the reasons I like commuter traffic better than random-stay-at-home-mother-on-prescription-drugs-heading-out-to-Nordstrom's-because-she-needs-a-new-purse traffic.  That second kind of traffic really goes all over the place.  

The guy in the car on my right and to the front rolls down his window and says "hi!" and after a moment of cognitive dissonance I realize that it is Sequoia Guy (he saves these magnificent trees as his day job) and I say "you're in a car!" because I have never seen him when he is not on either his road bike or pedaling his pedicab.  He insists that he is pedaling the car.  

There's a loud honk and I flinch.  I look forward.  The light is red.  I look back.  A man is glowering at me and Sequoia Guy.  He honks again.  The light is still red.

Sequoia Guy rolls up his window and smiles and waves good-bye.  I glance back at the guy with the heavy hand on the horn.  I think it is incredibly sad that there are angry bitter people out there who have not had sex with a nice woman (or man?) for over a year.  And who are so desperate and unfulfilled that they honk at people exchanging greetings at a red light.  

Personally, if I had not had sex in over a year, I would not advertise it to the rest of the would no matter how frustrated I felt.

Hey guy who honked and glowered?  Get yourself a bicycle.  Get out of your car.  Meet someone nice and feel better about life.  You'll honk less and the world will like you a little better.   

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