Friday, June 24, 2011

...but I have only contempt for the beautiful godzilla's male counterpart aka the ugly booger boy

Young guys on bicycles get a free pass while Beautiful Godzillas get called out.  This just totally sucks of the worst kind of sexist bullshit.

The Beautiful Godzilla

  • physically attractive
  • does not wear helmet
  • fairly slow
  • bicycles up the wrong side of the road because she is naive/clueless
  • doe-eyed innocence personified
  • nice hair 
  • color coordinated to her bicycle(s)
  • does not need bicycle lights because she does not bicycle at night (possibly as no one can admire her when it's dark)
  • travels alone
  • smells like Aveda hair products
....contrast with.....

The Ugly Booger Boy

  • might have nice soft hair but impossible to tell as he has not washed it in a month.
  • does not wear helmet
  • blows snot out the side of his nose at unpredictable intervals
  • travels at high speed up the wrong side of the road screaming obscenities
  • practices bicycling with no hands weaving back and forth taking up entire road
  • sports more rear cleavage than any plumber
  • so much acne he needs a utility wagon to carry the excess
  • bicycles up the wrong side of the street at high speed at night with the expensive lights his parents bought him turned off.
  • his own bicycle got stolen when he left it at the local park for a week so he's "borrowed" his sister's ride 
  • plans to convert said sister's bicycle into a hawt "fixie"
  • travels in a pack of like-minded imbeciles.  
  • slow but impossible to get around because of the hail of snot and the taking up of entire road.
  • smells like a goat.

No comments:

Post a Comment