Thursday, June 9, 2011

the crocodiles among us

Contraption Captain, riding the red Tour Easy and pulling the Burley wagon dropped Rapunzel at school, stayed around for an end of year event, and then road off to work towing the (now empty) wagon.  At some point he ran over some bumpy road.  Next thing he notices a car pass him but then creep along just ahead, the driver craning her head around.  Contraption Captain gets a few looks because of his non-diamond frame bicycle so he doesn't initially pay this any mind. 

Then he notices something in his rear view mirror. 

He turns around in his seat and discovers that (almost miraculously) the wagon is no longer meekly following along on two wheels, instead it is riding along behind him, tilted high up on one wheel, neatly balanced.  Contraption is impressed but finally shakes his bike from side to side and the wagon crashes back down onto two wheels.  The watching car pauses a moment longer and then drives away.

For our next trick I'm going to get one of those extending leashes, like dog-owners use to give their dogs room and then pull them back in close.  We'll attach it to the Burley bike wagon.  Then in heavy traffic we can s l o w l y feed the wagon out and watch the reaction.

Maybe you think this is unfair and unnecessary baiting of the automobiles.  Au contraire mon ami!  Remember those old Crocodile Hunter shows featuring the late Steve Irwin?  He would make a point of creating interesting situations at feeding time for the captive crocodiles.  Sometimes he'd have a push lawn mower, sometimes he'd offer them food and then yank it away or make them jump for it or whatever.  The idea was that captive crocodiles got bored and fat and lost interest and ultimately stopped having sex with their wives if they didn't have to put some effort and thought into their lives.  By doing interesting things with our bicycles we can help the bored automobiles stay interested and engaged.  They'll focus more on the road, they'll feel more engaged at their work, their wives/husbands may get some and gosh it might even serve to stave off early on-set dementia. 

No need to thank us.  Just one of the many free services we bicyclists provide. 

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