O Contraption Captain. When we were wondering how to get Sparkle Pony safely to soccer practice you welded foot pegs onto your giant recumbent bicycle and you zip-tied plastic covers over the wheels and she rode safely.
When your co-workers asked if your recumbent "could go up hills?" ....you were polite.
Contraption Captain, one of my gears is...hey thanks! My rear brake is, ah ok that's better. And my front light...cool! No, that would be everything I guess...
Contraption Captain, when it was too far to carry Rapunzel home from preschool on the bare Extracycle (that you assembled) you welded up a custom seat and sewed on a mesh back and installed a cushion. When I said "but where can she put her snacks?" you added a basket and then I said "I'm not sure about her drink" so you added a bottle holder and it was Very Good.
Contraption Captain, when my wheel was squeaky and turned out to be defective you fixed it with a zip tie.
Contraption Captain, I love the way you sprint forward when a red light turns green and the roadies that shoaled you have not even clipped in before you are half a mile away.
Life with a Contraption Captain means never wondering what that faint humming noise is that emanates sporadically from every speaker in the house. He's wielding a welder. The shower of sparks is the angle grinder and the strange metal rods that the kids are playing with turn out to be test runs from the metal lathe.
Happy birthday darling. And thanks for everything.